August 2, 2007

Belmont Banditos!

I got this email from my HOA last week. I'm not making this up.

The most recent incident [of vandalism] occurred this past Saturday morning around 4:30 AM. Houses were egged and several mailboxes were knocked over. Evidence was found in the form of an empty carton of Hillandale Farms organic brown eggs. Due to the expensive nature of organic eggs we do not feel that the eggs were purchased with the intent of throwing them at a home, rather they were taken from someone's kitchen after they were purchased.

Evidence was also obtained by the Sheriff from the last egging incident. The eggs were purchased at a local Harris Teeter and the Sheriff’s office has photos from the check out camera. If you have any information about these incidents or would like to view the photos please contact the management office at [number removed]. Please be aware that throwing eggs at an occupied home is in fact a felony.

There are so many things I can make fun of, I don't even know where to start. It's as if starting somewhere would someone diminish the soda-coming-out-of-your-nose quality of any of the other issues.

Still no iPhone yet, I appear to be one of the few holdouts.

Posted by pinkerton at August 2, 2007 11:45 AM