Dave Hyatt's Weblog

Thunder Stealing

Tony Davis wrote in his blog:

All Mozilla did is steal Netscape's thunder.

True, but if Netscape had actually bothered to put valuable additions into its product, then that wouldn't have happened. Similarly, if Netscape hadn't taken away valuable features from Mozilla, then maybe people would actually want to use Netscape over Mozilla.

Validation

I feel so tremendously validated right now in all my criticisms of Netscape vs. Mozilla. I told Netscape management that if the Netscape beta shipped without popup blocking that CNet would write an article on it. They didn't believe me (or didn't care). Sure enough, the article appeared right on time.

I blogged about two main annoyances when installing Netscape 7: the lack of popup blocking and all of the annoying advertising spam on the desktop and in the toolbars. I warned Netscape that they needed to take steps to correct this problem. They didn't listen. Take a look at the CNet review highlight that describes The Bad part of Netscape 7.0:

Displays AOL ads everywhere; doesn't let you turn off pop-up windows like Mozilla does; devours 30MB of disk space.

Plenty of other engineers at Netscape (as well as managers) complained about these problems and fought with those higher up to correct these problems. We lost every battle. The simple truth is that the people in charge of running the Netscape browser are incompetent. They don't understand how to make a good browser, or they don't care. Their engineers tell them what they're doing wrong, and they don't listen.

Maybe you'll listen to the public. How about eWeek's article, Netscape 7.0 Shrivels Under Mozilla's Shadow? Are you paying attention now, you ignorant, stupid, incompetent buffoons?

"I told you so." never felt so good.

Maybe they will sit up and take notice now. If they do, well, it's about fucking time. And people wonder why I quit working for AOL.

The Answers

Here are the answers to the movie quiz from Saturday. Mouse over the area between the [ ] to reveal the title of the movie.

1. [Aliens] Did IQs just drop sharply while I was away?
   
2. [Some Kind of Wonderful] Any fool can get into college. Only a select few can say the same about Amanda Jones.
   
3. [The Ghost and Mrs. Muir] My dear, since Eve picked the apple, no woman has ever been taken entirely unawares.
   
4. [Snatch] This is Tommy. He tells people he's named after a gun, but I know he's named after a famous 19th century ballerina.
   
5. [Dangerous Liaisons] When one woman strikes at the heart of another she seldom misses, and the wound is invariably fatal.
   
6. [Roman Holiday] I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's most unusual.
   
7. [The Godfather Part II] You're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there.
   
8. [True Lies] Kids: 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.
   
9. [Dead Poets' Society] Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.
   
10. [Die Hard] A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
    
11. [Bridget Jones' Diary] Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney and dresses like her mother.
    
12. [Real Genius] Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
    She happens to be my daughter.
    Oh. Then I guess you have.
    
13. [Forrest Gump] I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.
    
14. [Charade] Of course, you won't be able to lie on your back for a while but then you can lie from any position, can't you?
    
15. [Minority Report] The fact that you prevented it from happening doesn't change the fact that it was going to happen.
    
16. [City Slickers] Women need a reason for having sex. Men just need a place.
    
17. [Fight Club] You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
    
18. [Airplane] Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
    
19. [Strange Days] The issue is not whether you are paranoid. Look around you Lenny. The issue is whether you are paranoid enough.
    
20. [The Princess Bride] Inconceivable!
    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

More fun with the PTC

I received some feedback in email (from several of you actually) regarding my earlier blog about the Parents Television Council, which recently published a report in which they labeled Buffy as the worst show on television for children. Let me clarify why this organization bothers me so much.

Buffy as a show is clearly inappropriate for children under 12, and a game like GTA3 is as well. The PTC, however, has a clear agenda that goes beyond simply warning parents about the dangers of television shows or video games. There is a belief on the part of the PTC that the hour from 8-9pm (the first hour of primetime) must be designated a family hour, and that no offensive shows should air during that time. I don't believe that it's the networks' responsibility to restrict the kind of content aired during a particular hour of television. The shows that air during primetime run the gamut; some are family-oriented and some aren't. There is, however, no shortage of suitable content should parents and children wish to watch TV together during this hour.

It should be the parent's responsibility to police a child's television viewing. If you don't want your kids watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then don't let them, but don't campaign to have the show removed from the air or shoved into a late hour that would only result in its cancellation just because you don't like its content. If you don't think a show is appropriate, don't let your kids watch it.

The PTC also seems to find shows offensive that are family-oriented. An example of one such show is Malcolm in the Middle. I would hardly call this show inappropriate for kids. Apparently the only shows that the PTC deems appropriate are those that have been sanitized to match their ultra-conservative agenda. Even then, I wouldn't really mind, but the idea that all other shows must be relegated to some later hour is just ludicrous.

Movie Quiz

Test your knowledge with this set of movie quotes. I'll be back in a couple of days with the answers.

1. Did IQs just drop sharply while I was away?
   
2. Any fool can get into college. Only a select few can say the same about Amanda Jones.
   
3. My dear, since Eve picked the apple, no woman has ever been taken entirely unawares.
   
4. This is Tommy. He tells people he's named after a gun, but I know he's named after a famous 19th century ballerina.
   
5. When one woman strikes at the heart of another she seldom misses, and the wound is invariably fatal.
   
6. I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's most unusual.
   
7. You're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there.
   
8. Kids: 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.
   
9. Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.
   
10. A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
    
11. Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney and dresses like her mother.
    
12. Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
    She happens to be my daughter.
    Oh. Then I guess you have.
    
13. I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.
    
14. Of course, you won't be able to lie on your back for a while but then you can lie from any position, can't you?
    
15. The fact that you prevented it from happening doesn't change the fact that it was going to happen.
    
16. Women need a reason for having sex. Men just need a place.
    
17. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
    
18. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
    
19. The issue is not whether you are paranoid. Look around you Lenny. The issue is whether you are paranoid enough.
    
20. Inconceivable!
    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Kate Bosworth Naked!

Ok, I just have to enter this competition. I will now prove that by mentioning the name "Kate Bosworth" along with the words "nude", "naked", and "unclothed", that I will beat out both Blake Ross and Ben Goodger for the number one site on Google when you type that phrase into the search engine.

Yes, indeed, if you're looking for Kate Bosworth naked or for nude pictures of Kate Bosworth, then you've come to the wrong place, because none of us happen to have naked pictures of Kate Bosworth after all. Should I mention the movie Blue Crush too?

I know I'm going to win. Ha ha ha.

Get a Life

I just read this on TV Guide (from this URL):

Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans still upset about the show's detour into darkness last season aren't alone. Family-friendly watchdog group Parents Television Council has named the UPN drama the worst show in primetime for its graphic violence, sex, and occult themes.

For the curious, the website of the PTC can be found here, and boy is it ugly. Really ugly. I nearly went blind after stumbling onto the site from Google. They weren't going to get rid of me that easily though. I had to find out more information about the group that slammed one of the best shows on television today.

In the navigation bar on the left of the site, I found a link to Video Games. I was pleased to see that GTA3 had its own entry! So apparently they are terrified by truly superior video games as well.

If someone told you the most popular video game in the country involved a child pretending to be a gangster who kills cops and solicits prostitutes, then beats the prostitutes to get his money back, you’d be appalled.

The level of ignorance surrounding this game is just staggering. GTA3 provides a game world with well-known rules and open-ended gameplay. You are given certain goals and how you complete them is up to you. It draws on principles used by PC games like Deus Ex, i.e., create an open-ended level filled with objects that can be manipulated according to a well-understood gameplay model, and then let the player decide how to complete the mission in the style that best fits his/her personality.

When you make an open-ended gameworld, the game engine must support any action that the character takes that plays by the rules of the system. For example the player in GTA3 can walk up to any pedestrian on the street and attack them with a baseball bat. The game supports this, but there are penalties and consequences (the cops come after you and will take you down just as they would in real life). Yes, you can beat a prostitute to death, but you can beat *anyone* to death in the game if you so choose (or not, it's up to you).

Anyway back to the TV list. Other notable shows on the offensive list include That 70s Show, Friends and C.S.I. I suppose they're offended by Rachel having a child out of wedlock (gasp!). The top 10 best shows are just hilarious. Why watch great shows like Buffy and That 70s Show when you can sit down to a scintillating evening of Touched By An Angel, 7th Heaven, or Baby Bob? Oh yeah, those are shows worth watching. Zzzzzz.

Blog Neglect

I'm afraid I've been neglecting my blog lately. The poor thing is starting to wilt from the lack of attention. The problem is Warcraft 3. When I'm not working on my Mac, I'm playing Warcraft on my PC. Together work and Warcraft have taken away my blogging time. Oh well. Follow my links to my friends' blogs. They can pick up the slack. :)

Trampling the Little Guy

One blog that I really enjoy reading is www.davezilla.com. Stuart turned me on to the site. And now it's under attack by the lawyers of Toho, Inc., the owners of the Godzilla trademark. What's next? Is Mozilla going to get the same "cease and desist" order regarding the use of their red fire-breathing lizard?

I'm pleased to see that this utterly feeble attempt to attack a single blogger's site is being treated with the humor that it deserves. Check out this Register article or this one on CNet.

XHTML 2.0 Example

Sjoerd Visscher did some clever XBL hackery to make an XHTML 2.0 page render correctly in Mozilla. You can check it out here. Pretty nifty, eh? I hope that when it comes time to implement XHTML 2.0 in Mozilla that people use XBL, CSS and JS as much as possible (so that the definitions of every element can load lazily and dynamically). By using XBL and CSS we can map to existing layout primitives and not bloat the code even more. :)

By the Way

The preceding images are real screenshots of a joke Blake Ross played on all of us. Ha ha, Blake. :)

How to Monetize(tm) your browser

So here you are, a multi-billion dollar corporation with a sagging stock price that has spent hundreds of man-years and millions of dollars on a layout engine and a Web browser. You've thrown all this money into the support of this cool "standards-compliant" layout engine, and you don't even know what that means! You're out all this money, and you have to find some way to make it back.

Well, do I have the plan for you. Enroll in David Hyatt's "Monetize that Browser!" seminar today, and you can learn how to recoup your losses. I'll teach you time-honored methods for making that money back. Yes, in just 30 short days, and for the low price of $599.95, I'll whip your money pit into a cash-generating machine!

But I can sense that you have doubts. You're hesitant. "Dave," you're saying, "I just don't have any idea what to do! I want to have a really good product, and a really simple and elegant user interface!" Well, you see, Bob (can I call you Bob?), there's your first mistake. Simple and elegant don't pay the rent, Bob, and who cares if it's a good product if you get to laugh all the way to the bank? Clearly, Bob, you're overthinking just about everything, but luckily I got here in time to save you from a lonely future full of cardboard boxes and cheap whiskey.

The first monetizing technique I'll show you is called "Stealth Infection." Under the principle of stealth infection, you must insert ties to your Web properties in seemingly innocuous locations. The idea is to rely on the user's poor hand-eye coordination. They'll be shooting for Open File.. and they'll end up buying furniture instead! It's brilliant! It cannot fail!

A second technique (illustrated on the right) is the "Verb Completion" technique. Take the verb in the menu bar (in this case View), and think of a way to complete a sentence using that verb that makes you money! That's right, Bob, it really is that simple! You own twenty-seven movie studios, so why not try plugging your movies? View... movies! Not only are you finding ways to make money off your Web browser, but you can also trick people into renting some of your worst box office failures like Little Nicky and Osmosis Jones! It's all about synergy, Bob, and in this case you're killing two birds with one stone!

Yet another proven method for making money is the "Word Association" technique. Take the Bookmarks menu as an example. Half your users think you're talking about books anyway, so why not use that menu to sell some books? Who cares what the original purpose of the menu was anyway? How many of your 35 million users even know what a bookmark is? Maybe most of those 35 million don't even know how to read, but that doesn't mean they won't buy Book 18 of the Left Behind series! Let's put the menu to work for you, Bob, so that you can finally buy that beach house in Malibu.

Ok, Bob, I can sense the negativity. You're worried about "user interface bloat" and whether or not people will like your product. But Bob, people don't have to like your product! All you have to do is take away all their other alternatives, and then they'll have no choice but to use yours! I call this technique the monopoly principle. Maybe you should study certain competitors, Bob, to see how they get the job done. You can be as mediocre as you want, Bob, as long as you crush all other similar products under the heel of your freshly-polished jack boot like insignificant insects.

But I digress. We were discussing ways of beefing up your user interface to make you richer than Croesus. You'll see on the right a second example of the Word Association technique. Tools, hardware, Home Depot! You have to appeal to multiple demographics, from furniture to movies to power tools! What one person may skip, another person will buy. Don't limit your options, Bob.

The final method I'll illustrate for you today I call "Take Advantage of Helplessness!" People end up with your product because you quashed all others. They have no choice but to use your browser. They're neophytes in the world of computing, and yes, Bob, they're a little scared. Where do users go when they're scared? For Help! In this case that means the Help menu. Sure, you could provide links to tutorials and instructional material that would clear up user confusion, but why do that when you can hook them on a psychic hotline instead? Let the psychic tell the user how to work their product while raking in (all for you) 10 bucks a minute! And "psychic" sounds so much better than "technical support" to the user. You and I know they're more or less equivalent, but Sally Rae on the other end of the phone line doesn't know that! Let's not disabuse her of the notion that we're here to help. Otherwise, how will we get all her money?

So Bob, I hope I've allayed your remaining fears. My patented system of monetization will put all those doubts of yours to rest and make you into a millionaire. All you have to do is send me a check or money order for $599.95, and within four weeks you'll be sucking contentedly on the sweet nourishing milk of your cash cow.

Customizable Toolbars

I have been working on customizable toolbars in Mozilla. You can check out a screenshot here. So far it has been pretty simple and straightforward to engineer.

Odyssey 5

If you like sci-fi and haven't tuned in to Odyssey 5, start watching! It's awesome. I'll even share the basic premise now and get you all caught up so you can join me in my addiction.

The year is 2007. The crew of the space shuttle Odyssey are on a routine mission to repair a satellite called Bright Sky. The crew members are:

• Chuck Taggart - the mission commander (played by Peter Weller, Robocop)
  
• Neil Taggart - his 22-year old son (played by Christopher Gorham, Popular)
  
• Angela Perry - the pilot (played by Tamara Craig Thomas)
  
• Sarah Forbes - a news reporter (played by Leslie Silva)
  
• Kurt Mendel - a geneticist (played by Sebastian Roche)
  

Only this time he managed to meet survivors. The Seeker tells the five astronauts that he has the power to send them back in time five years, and that they can then attempt to save their planet from destruction. The crew members agree and end end up back in 2002. Now they have five years to figure out who is trying to destroy the Earth and to stop it.

The show is building up an internally consistent (and very complex) universe so far. I have hopes that they will keep it consistent and not end up with the mess that the X-Files did by the end. For more information about the episodes that have aired so far, you can go here.

Start watching!